It's Saturday evening. Your mobile phone shows 847 contacts, your Instagram feed is overflowing with stories and likes, and unread messages are flashing in three WhatsApp groups. And yet you're sitting on the sofa feeling... alone. You may be familiar with this feeling. This strange emptiness, even though you are theoretically more ‘connected’ than ever before. The longing for a conversation that goes deeper than ‘How are you?’ – ‘Fine, thanks.’ Missing someone who really listens. Not to respond, but to understand.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone – even if it feels that way right now. Loneliness has become one of the greatest challenges of our time. At the same time, research shows that genuine connection is one of the most effective remedies we have.

The loneliness epidemic: figures that shake us up

The World Health Organisation (WHO) published an alarming report in 2025: loneliness contributes to over 870,000 deaths per year worldwide – that's around 100 people per hour. The WHO Commission on Social Connection speaks of a ‘global health crisis’ that urgently needs more attention.

The figures are also worrying in Germany. The NIVEA CONNECT COMPASS study from 2025 shows that 20 per cent of respondents often feel lonely, with a further 56 per cent feeling lonely at least sometimes. This means that more than three quarters of all people experience loneliness on a regular basis.

What is particularly surprising is that the loneliest age group is not older people, as the cliché would suggest. It is young people. The so-called ‘always on generation’, which is constantly connected, suffers most from the feeling of not really being connected. Digital contacts, it turns out, cannot replace real closeness.

The loneliness barometer published by the Federal Ministry for Family Affairs confirms that loneliness levels rose sharply in the first year of the pandemic. And although they declined again afterwards, they never returned to pre-coronavirus levels. The structural drivers – individualisation, urbanisation, changing family structures – continue to have an impact.

What exactly is loneliness? An important distinction

Loneliness is often confused with being alone – but these are two different things. Being alone is an objective state: you are physically alone. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a subjective feeling: the painful discrepancy between the social relationships you desire and those you actually have.

You can be lonely in the midst of people – at a party, in an open-plan office, even in a relationship. And you can be alone without feeling lonely – when you know that there are people who know you and care about you.

Then there is social isolation: the objective lack of social contact. And this is where it gets particularly interesting from a scientific point of view – because both conditions are harmful, in different ways.

The scientific perspective: What loneliness does to the brain and body

Research in recent years has impressively demonstrated how profoundly loneliness and social isolation affect our health – on a neurobiological, psychological and physical level.

Neurobiology: Connectedness as a reward system

Our brains are programmed for social connection. When we experience positive social interactions – a good conversation, a hug, the feeling of being understood – our brains release oxytocin, often referred to as the “bonding hormone”. At the same time, the reward system is activated and dopamine is released. We feel good, safe and connected.

Conversely, the brain reacts to social exclusion in much the same way as it does to physical pain. Studies using imaging techniques show that the same areas of the brain that are activated by physical pain also respond to social rejection. Loneliness literally hurts.

Cognitive effects: When isolation changes the way we think

A recent study from January 2026, published in the Journals of Gerontology, provides disturbing findings: social isolation accelerates cognitive decline – regardless of whether the individuals affected subjectively feel lonely or not. This means that even those who have ‘come to terms’ with their loneliness are not protected from the neurological consequences.

The mechanisms behind this are manifold: a lack of mental stimulation through conversation, fewer opportunities for cognitive challenges, but also chronic stress caused by feelings of isolation – all of this leaves its mark on the brain.

Psychological consequences: The vicious circle of loneliness

Loneliness can set off a vicious cycle. People who feel lonely tend to interpret social signals more negatively. An unanswered phone call becomes proof that they are not liked. A cancelled meeting confirms their belief that they are not important to others. This distorted perception leads to withdrawal – and further intensifies their loneliness.

Long-term loneliness significantly increases the risk of depression, anxiety disorders and other mental illnesses. It can undermine self-esteem and lead to feelings of insignificance – the opposite of “mattering”, the feeling of being important to others.

The health consequences: loneliness as a risk factor

The effects of loneliness and social isolation are not limited to the psyche. They also manifest themselves physically – to an extent that surprises many people.

Cardiovascular system

Loneliness significantly increases the risk of cardiovascular disease. Chronic stress caused by social isolation leads to elevated cortisol levels, high blood pressure and inflammatory processes in the body. Studies show that the risk of heart attack and stroke increases significantly in lonely people.

Immune system

Social isolation weakens the immune system. The body is more susceptible to infections, wounds heal more slowly, and chronic inflammation increases. Psychoneuroimmunology – the science of the connection between the psyche, nervous system and immune system – has impressively proven these correlations.

Life expectancy

Perhaps the most impressive figure comes from a meta-analysis by researcher Julianne Holt-Lunstad: close, supportive relationships can reduce the risk of premature death by up to 45 per cent. Conversely, chronic loneliness is a risk factor comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Prof. Dr. Beate Ditzen from Heidelberg University sums it up: ‘Social connectedness is essential for both mental and physical health.’ Relationships are not just a nice addition to life – they are a biological necessity.

The social dimension: why we are becoming collectively lonelier

Loneliness is not an individual failure. It is also the result of social developments that we as individuals can hardly influence.

Structural drivers

The individualisation of society has brought many freedoms – but also new forms of isolation. Traditional community structures such as clubs, church congregations and neighbourhood networks are losing their importance. Mobility in the world of work means that people move house more often and find it harder to maintain friendships. Single-person households are on the rise – in large cities, more than half of all people now live alone.

Social inequality

The DIW Berlin showed in 2025 that people on low incomes are most at risk of loneliness. Those with little money often cannot afford leisure activities, have fewer opportunities for social participation and are more likely to live in cramped or isolated housing conditions. Loneliness is also a question of social justice.

The paradox of digital networking

We are more connected than ever before – and yet we often feel disconnected. Social media can complement real relationships, but it cannot replace them. On the contrary, studies show that excessive social media consumption correlates with higher levels of loneliness. Constant exposure to curated snippets of other people's lives can reinforce feelings of not belonging.

The aftermath of the pandemic

The coronavirus pandemic has exacerbated the loneliness crisis. Contact restrictions, working from home, closed meeting places – for many people, important social structures have collapsed. And although the acute phase is over, some of these changes have become permanent. For many, the threshold for actively approaching people again has become higher.

The good news: connectedness can be trained

As bleak as the diagnosis sounds, there is hope. Because connectedness can be actively shaped. You don't need a hundred friends, a perfect relationship or a busy schedule. Often, it's small, conscious steps that make all the difference.

Five ways to achieve greater genuine connection

1. Quality over quantity It's not about having as many contacts as possible, but about the depth of your relationships. One person with whom you can truly be yourself is more valuable than a hundred superficial acquaintances. Invest time in the relationships that are really important to you.

2. Regularity beats intensity Connection is created through continuity. A quick phone call every two weeks can be more effective than a big get-together once a year. Small, regular gestures – a message, a walk together, a coffee – keep relationships alive.

3. Dare to be vulnerable Genuine closeness comes when we show ourselves – including our insecurities and weaknesses. That doesn't mean opening up to everyone. But in the relationships that are important to us, we can have the courage to be honest. ‘I'm not feeling so good right now’ can be the start of a conversation that really connects.

4. Use digital tools consciously Technology is not the enemy. A video call with a friend who lives far away can create real closeness – more so than a text message. Use digital options as a supplement, not a substitute. And sometimes the best digital step is to put your phone away and meet someone in person.

5. Seeking communities Clubs, voluntary work, courses, neighbourhood initiatives – places where people regularly come together are breeding grounds for connection. Getting started can feel uncomfortable, especially if you have been withdrawn for a long time. But this is often where the relationships we desire are formed.

Why a conversation can be the first step

Sometimes the path out of loneliness is shorter than we think. It doesn't start with a large social network or the perfect friendship. It starts with a single conversation. At REDEZEIT FÜR DICH, you can experience exactly that: genuine human connection – low-threshold, free of charge, no waiting time. Our more than 350 volunteer listeners are not algorithms, chatbots or anonymous voices. They are people who take the time to listen without judgement. They are there because other people are important to them. Perhaps it's the first time in a long time that you're really being heard. Perhaps you'll realise that you're not as alone as you thought. And perhaps this one conversation is the beginning of something bigger: the path back to connection.

Connectedness as a basic need and health resource

We humans are not made for loneliness. Our brains, our bodies, our psyche – everything is designed to live in connection with others. Loneliness is not a sign of weakness or failure. It is a signal that a fundamental need is not being met.

The good news is that we can do something about it. Not by forcing ourselves to become more extroverted or radically changing our lives. But by taking small steps. Making a phone call. Seeking out conversation. Showing ourselves, even if it feels vulnerable.

Connection is not a weakness – it is a strength. It is not a luxury – it is a necessity. And it often begins with a simple sentence: ‘I am here. I am listening.’

At REDEZEIT FÜR DICH, you will find someone who does just that.

Sources:

• WHO: Report of the Commission on Social Connection (2025)

• Beiersdorf/NIVEA: CONNECT COMPASS Study (June 2025)

• BMFSFJ/Competence Network Loneliness: Loneliness Barometer 2025

• Journals of Gerontology / European Medical Journal (January 2026)

• DIW Weekly Report 2025: Loneliness in Germany

• Holt-Lunstad: Meta-analysis on social relationships and mortality

• Prof. Dr. Beate Ditzen (University of Heidelberg): ZEIT Academy

• das-wissen.de: Why social connections promote our mental health